Although I managed to overcome my internal struggle, I sometimes still feel as if I am moments away from relapse. Even today, I sometimes see a plate of food as a number, or I’m thrown off by the slightest fluctuations in my weight. But because I have learned to appreciate the love and patience my friends and family were providing me with all along, it was a lot easier to exert control on my emotions. This moment of awakening liberated me from an intolerable cycle of despondency and I experienced an unrestrained magnitude of happiness that I desperately needed in my life. Throughout these years, I have come to regret the choices I’ve made not only because of the seared-in psychological impact, but also because of the unnecessary trouble I created for the people around me.
I remind myself every day that although I am not capable of travelling back in time to start a new beginning, I am able to create a fresh start. Although I wish I realized sooner that my life did not revolve around a scale, the entire experience has provided me with something to reflect upon and learn from for the rest of my life. I have the tendency to dwell on my mistakes and overcomplicate my life by over-thinking all the time, but as I progress on my journey of personal growth, I am adopting a new attitude on life. I have learned to embrace the traits of an explorer, an explorer who does not dwell upon the rocks slipped upon, or the obstacles that demanded a leap of faith—but an explorer who focuses on living each day to the fullest while making the next a day to look forward to.
Coping with Food 